Radiators and Drains.

Radiators and Drains.

So many of us leave ourselves behind in an effort to please other people. I can relate to this, and at points have truly lost myself in a haze of giving and trying for those who don’t appreciate me. And a lot of this has been because of my lack of self-appreciation. 

In my life I’ve been blessed with so many friends, who have been with me through tough times and great times, and a lot of lessons were learnt. A lesson I learnt recently is that there’s a balance to be had when it comes to friendships of any kind. Sometimes we can become so preoccupied by our relationship politics that we lose sight of what’s really important. Or we get so used to listening to what our friends tell us that we forget our own values. If we’re unlucky, we sometimes have friends who consistently undermine us. And if we’re really  lucky we may have friends who remind us of the things that make us brilliantly human. Many of us look towards friends for validation when really we should place the same efforts on our own validation, and always strive to be our own best friend. With self-investment we are able to confidently and consistently show-up for ourself, our values and our worth, and that alone will result in the right friendships and relationships. 

I truly believe that my vibe attracts my tribe, and on reflection can see why friendships may have gone wrong because of a disconnect with myself and what I really need. There have also been beautiful moments where I’ve found friends by coincidence, where the universe seemingly did the work for me 💖 But at times when I’ve been so drained and burn-out from all the stressors and challenges that life has thrown at me, I start to question who I need, looking externally for the answer, holding on to unnecessary relationships, trying to please people who do not care for me or my values or dreams. When all along the answer was INTERNAL. The answer is me. And for you, the answer is you.

This evening, treat yourself to some PJs @6pm, get a cuppa, and get your notebook out and spend some time reconnecting with your values and your dreams and your worth. You matter, and so do your dreams 💜

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Children & Grief – my journey as a wife, mother & counsellor

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